its been 1 wk since i last blog
so tis will be a long post......


mon was the last day of my exam....
the DBMS paper......
but dunno y somehow i feel tt i did nt really do tt well 4 the paper
thought tt the qns were tricky....
hope tt i can pass the paper
after the paper, went 2 meet chris 4 dinner but was late....
had dinner with jasmine, amber, ber, chris n fusheng at the cc coffee shop
then after tt went 2 buy satay home 2 eat... wahaha


tue stayed at home the whole day gaming
then sleep....


wed woke up early 2 go hospital 4 my medicine drip
reached hospital at 8am n waited until like 10am then they start the drip
another malay gurl only pri 6 needs tt super strong medicine drip too
which is quite shocking even though she also hav lupus but hers is nt even 1 yr
when the needle went into her hand, she was screaming like hell
which also scare me 2 my wits la....
was on drip then halfway she suddenly scream so loud
even the nurse also shocked!!!!!
i continue 2 read my comic book until the end of the drip
was impressed tt i m nt sleepy at all .... hahaz
after tt went 2 buy some food 2 eat n went home 2 rest


yesterday was super tired.....
wake up eat breakfast le then went 2 sleep again
then wake up 2 eat again then went 2 sleep again
i m super like pig la!!!!!!!!
when i woke up again, i m a bit refreshed so i game again n chat with my fren jessica
asked her 2 help me ask ard anybody interested 2 watch NH II
did nt manage 2 sell any tics yet so must buck up even though i m tired
haven gt her reply yet but no worries cause she gt 1 wk sch hol
in the meantime, i shall see who i can sell the tics 2 n ask them again n pester if i hav 2 ... wahahaha


went 4 morning walk in the early morning 2day
then ltr ate breakfast n packed my table
my table was in the pre-exam state..... messy like hell
now tt exams r over, all books into the shelves.... wahaha
but if i need 2 take supp paper then i hav 2 take them out again.... haizzz
now worry also no use so might as well hav fun first
sept is gg 2 be the busy mth 4 me
i gt J2EE lesson 15/9 - 17/9
oracle cert course 22/9 - 26/9
NH II concert on 20/9
skin centre appt on 12/9
hospital appt on 16/9
medicine drip on 22/9
nobody can be more busy than me liao i guess
n my hols r like until 12/10!!!!!
then dunno gt 2 take supp paper anot
if need 2 take supp paper then i will hav more days of study
then really nt like hol at all......
dun care le.... results will only be released on the 16/9
so just be happy until then bah


i guess tis post is already very long le
n i m very tired liao...
so cya......

saw a glimmer of hope in my OOAD paper 2day
did nt get mental block at all
studied the final revision lecture only as well as the mcqs
n qns really turn out 2 be those qns only
dunno is lucky or tcher lenient
anyway, just hope tt i can pass my OOAD n DBMS papers
since the DSTR n IPTNET already gone case le
already prepared myself 2 take the supp paper if i really fail


enough of the exams
tis morning chris called me
n we talked abt smth very funny la
but it is secret..... sshhhh!!!!!!
now already 11plus le
hoping tt someone from co will come online soon!!!!
i wan 2 noe wat happen 2day during prac
curious curious.... since i m on break.... haizzz

2day de IPTNET paper is easy lor
all from the tutorial de
in the end i gt mental block again
memorized the ans from the tutorials n yet i cant rmb everything
only managed 2 write some ans tt r reasonable
the rest all anyhow pluck ans from the sky
i think i m gg 2 fail this exams
totally no confidence at all


the next paper is OOAD
hope tt the paper will be easy but this paper also gt a lot of things need 2 memorized
i m so gg 2 prac the past yr exam qns n study the notes at the same time
gg 2 make sure tt the notes i prepared is gg 2 be a complete set
OOAD n DBMS r my only hopes of passing left
i dun wan my gpa 2 become 1.?? because of my exam tis time


my only wish now is tt i can pass my DSTR n IPTNET
which is like mission impossible but my frens say as long as i pass my ica i will be fine
but how can tt be??? exam 60% leh!!!!!!!
haizzz


after the paper, went 2 AMK hub 2 grab some food
then bought the durian pancake n durian puff from the stall tt was recommended on channel 8
after tt went down 2 bugis 2 collect my durian strudel
i also bought a mango strudel for 10 bucks
the strudels r nice!!!!!!!!! except tt the mango a bit sour
grandma came down just now n eat the strudel
she say its too ex n tell me next time dun buy
n ask me 2 save money for my studies
if wan 2 buy ask my aunt 2 buy... lolz


now gg 2 chiong OOAD revision liao.....
will continue after i finish my exam on fri which starts 4pm

its been a long time since i last blog
had been very tired recently ever since i m out of tt 'resort'
also trying 2 find time 2 sort out my mind for study
exams round the corner mah

had DSTR paper 2day
the paper is exactly like wat the exam revision slides showed
qns totally the same type
n yet i cant rmb a single thing i memorized!!!!!
my mind went totally blank!!!!
so in the end i skipped all the coding qns n do the rest first
but then i finally gave up n submit my paper 30mins b4 the exam finish
mr seetoh collected my paper
he asked me 2 sit through the whole exam n finish the qns
but i really cant rmb le wat for sit down there waste time
so in the end he just shook his head n submitted my paper
i hope i can pass this paper.... i failed the last quiz b4 the exam
n i noe it will pull down my total score a lot
i just wan a pass.... a grade C will be enough


enough abt 2day...
last wk had DBMS revision lesson on tue
quite useful 2 me as i missed out a lot during the 'resort stay'
then gt back my test paper from minqi after the lesson
we chatted a while then i went 2 meet chris for dinner at e-hub pastamania
we each order a plate of pasta n shared 1 beef lagsania(dunno the spelling la)
then we chatted for a while b4 we hit the arcade 2 play the drum machine
it was so fun la.... we topped up my card n was told tt i can upgrade my card 2 VIP de
but then dunno wat went on my head i say i dun wan
so stupid la!!!! VIP card is double play leh!!!
u top up 1buck gt 2bucks for game play!!!!!
i m so damn gg 2 upgrade it the next time!!!!
we played the machine so many rounds until our hands r sore
then after a washrm break, we went 2 watch others play the machine
then we play again!!!! LOLZ....
after tt we went 2 fairprice 2 buy bread n off we go home.....


the following day, i went 2 CGH de zhong hua clinic 2 see doc
tt doc is so weird la..... i m nt depressed abt my condition at all n he kept telling me i will recover n dun look so depressed....
then he say i can eat anything i wan n say tt i must eat 2 egg white n 1 egg yolk everyday because i lack of nutrients
he say tt my swollen legs will recover by the following wk which is tis wk la but i dun see any diff lor
n after a mth my condition will improve
n after a yr the dosage of the steriods prescribed to me will decrease
he is so damn confident la n he told my mum tt i m the third lupus patient he had 2 treat
n he is confident tt my condition will improve quite fast because i m still young
i dunno how many times i hav 2 hear tis sentence from all the docs tt see me
all say the same sentence.... in the end probs keep popping out
but 1 thing for sure is i must nt be depressed n must be positive!!!!!!!
so i m gg 2 relax myself n make sure i recover!!!!!
i wan 2 go out with my frens 2 play!!!!! i wan 2 like them!!!!!!
i wan 2 be free from medicine control!!!!!!!!!!!
after the consultation, mum n i went eastpoint 2 buy my sports shoe but in the end there dun hav my size so we went foodcourt hav lunch n i saw auntie serene having lunch with her frens
then she asked me how come so long nv go her house then i just reply very busy tts y
i hope i m nt rude......
after tt ate lunch n went 2 white sands n finally found a sports shoe with my size
then went down 2 NTUC 2 buy some stuffs n head home


tml gg 2 tire me out again cause i hav 2 go hospital for bloodtest as early as 9.30am
then wait for my appt at 2.50pm
n i gt IPTNET paper on wed at 9am!!!!!!!!
n IPTNET is my worst module!!!!!!!!!!!
gg 2 prepare notes 2 study le....

finally is wed le
went to sch 2day for my proj presentation
but in the end i ended up feeling giddy n my face turned pure white
i think i m like a walking zombie cause ms phoon looked very worried n actually wanted to send me to hospital
but in the end she called a cab for me n ask me to go home n rest
she said tt i have been consistent with my proj submission so there sld nt be a prob with passing just tt my grade will nt be fantastic
she also told me nt to worry too much abt my studies n health comes first
if i need to get notes for revision i can get it from my classmates
she is such a nice n understanding tcher.......
she even acc me to wait for the cab!!! i m so glad to hav her as my tcher


after tt when i gt home, i ate lunch n went to sleep
was super sleepy la cause even when my dad came back i dun even realise
sleep all the way until 5pm cause i heard the 100% entertainment music coming from the tv
i guess i overworked myself for wanting to finish the proj n did nt hav enough rest
from 2day onwards, i m gg to rest!!!
really rest n exercise so tt i will nt be so tired even when i m doing nth


mon was a chionging proj day
woke up quite early then went tm to buy some stuffs
bought a few t-shirts then went home chiong proj
after tt sleep until yesterday morning
went to hospital for checkup n realise tt my hand pain n the swollen legs r normal
because my dosage of medicine is high
doc say with do some special blood tests to monitor my hand pain n swollen legs
i was supposed to be on the medicine drip 2day de but i cant make it because of the proj presentation
doc said tt he told me i was told in the ward tt i will be on medicine drip again 2day
but i cant seem to rmb him saying tt
in the end he had to schedule it on fri morning as this medicine drip takes up 8hrs which is like 1 whole day!!!!
wat m i gg to do down there while on the drip???
decided to ask chris if she can lend me her psp so tt i will nt be bored
cfm gg to bring my mp3
i think my mum will be like bring ur notes down to revise for exams
i shall see wat i can do tml... wahahahaz
shall go sleep now... starting to have headache....

feel so tired 2day
totally no mood to finish my proj coding at all
but in the end still manage to get myself to do it
i gt no more time to waste although i still watch anime in btw during meals to relax myself abit
my whole body is hurting every now n then
i dunno if its my imagination or its the side effect of the medicine
the pain sometime come from my hand then sometime my leg n sometime near the waist which is super near the kidneys la


haizzzzzz
then somemore i still haven confirm my presentation day with ms phoon
die le... i must work faster now
i dun wan to fail my proj
gg to get down to work again once i m done with tis post


yesterday went to grandma house to help aunt fix the internet access
went out to eat breakfast with them at long john silvers
then its internet fixing time!!!!
gt everything setup quite fast because gt the smartwizard help
however the ppl at singtel nv send the password to my aunt
then end up my mum n aunt had to rush down to tm de hello shop to get the password
so when they went to get the password, i gt down to helping my aunt load her mp3 software into the laptop as well as updating her anti-virus software
grandma gt on to cook lunch... fried bee hoon.... oiishi ne
after lunch, mum n aunt gt home n we try to use the netgear router
however, i still cant solve the prob... haizzz
so no wireless access for me for the time being if i go my grandma house to use laptop


i shall solve the prob after my exams
shall ask jun liang for help again i think since he is the one who help me the other time
if nt i hav to ask another aunt of mine who is currently very busy n overseas
y everybody thinks tt studying the IT course means studying everything abt computer???


did nth 2day except proj
super tired since i still gt prob with the SQL query
i wonder how they manage to get the query done???
shall ask them tml after their presentation to send me their codes for reference
my presentation is confirm on wed morning le
i hope i will be ok..........

did nt hav a pleasant day at all ever since i was discharged
it was so so wrong 2 be admitted in the first place
even though i found out tt something is wrong with my body n it still can be treated
now all the endings of proj must be done
n because of my absence of contributing they were slowed down n theres a need 2 rush


went back 2 sch on wed 2 submit my mc n talk 2 ms phoon abt my proj submission
she said tt she will access me individually with another independent marker on another day
however i was scared of presenting alone which i dunno y
i wished 2 present with my gp however they also think tt its best if i gt more time 2 complete my part of the proj
somwhow when they keep telling me 2 let ms phoon access me on another seems 2 me tt they wan 2 get rid of me like tt
maybe i m too sensitive but tis kind of feeling is really very torturing
it makes me feel like i m an object... like the feeling i get back in sec sch
but i gt no choice... i hav 2 score for tis proj n i must
then when i gt home from sch, i continue doing the iptnet assignment
i re-draw everything from scratch only 2 realized tt watever we do from the start of the assignment was wrong
did nt giv up n search the net for solutions but to no anvil
went 2 bed early because i dun wan 2 be pressurized by them


yesterday was no exception
went 2 ws 2 hav lunch then bought some groceries n went home 2 continue to chiong iptnet until minqi called
discussed how 2 finish the iptnet drawing n setting
i noe they r very anxious
but i remained clam n tell them how i do
i myself also very tired n anxious abt the assignment
iptnet is my worse subject ....i can nv get gd results
after tt it was decided tt i shall nt continue 2 do the drawing
i felt so angry with myself
i noe tt my working style is slow la but i m trying to do away tis working style
i dun even noe whos right whos wrong le after all these
i spent 4 days trying 2 figure out how 2 solve then in the end hav 2 giv up
its like i wasted 4 days for nth
n i could hav just done my ooad proj
which i will be able 2 giv minqi so tt i can present with them on mon
haizzzzz......
after they hung up the call, i felt like i was being thrown onto an isolated island again
the lonely feeling from back then in sec sch came back tt instance
opened all the proj files in my laptop with hope tt i can do some changes but in the end i gt no mood n end up gaming for 2 whole hrs n then went to sleep


woke up early tis morning n went 2 changi hospital n had an accupunture session
it lasted for half an hr n after tt went 2 hav lunch n visit my great grand mother in the ward
then went 2 eastpoint 2 buy some stuffs b4 coming home
after shopping i feel quite ok le so i continue with my proj amendments until now then blog for a bit since a lot of ppl(actually only chris is complaining la) tt my blog is still dead
seriously speaking... i really hav no mood at all
from my msn pm, i m actually still feeling quite emo
i guess now they r having co prac or should be over le
gg to sleep now.... it felt tt i m nt having the rest i should be taking
i hope i will be alright


i m so disappointed by so many things
to the extend tt i dun feel like i hav any goals any more
will a long term break be gd for me???
i really wonder??