did nt hav a pleasant day at all ever since i was discharged
it was so so wrong 2 be admitted in the first place
even though i found out tt something is wrong with my body n it still can be treated
now all the endings of proj must be done
n because of my absence of contributing they were slowed down n theres a need 2 rush


went back 2 sch on wed 2 submit my mc n talk 2 ms phoon abt my proj submission
she said tt she will access me individually with another independent marker on another day
however i was scared of presenting alone which i dunno y
i wished 2 present with my gp however they also think tt its best if i gt more time 2 complete my part of the proj
somwhow when they keep telling me 2 let ms phoon access me on another seems 2 me tt they wan 2 get rid of me like tt
maybe i m too sensitive but tis kind of feeling is really very torturing
it makes me feel like i m an object... like the feeling i get back in sec sch
but i gt no choice... i hav 2 score for tis proj n i must
then when i gt home from sch, i continue doing the iptnet assignment
i re-draw everything from scratch only 2 realized tt watever we do from the start of the assignment was wrong
did nt giv up n search the net for solutions but to no anvil
went 2 bed early because i dun wan 2 be pressurized by them


yesterday was no exception
went 2 ws 2 hav lunch then bought some groceries n went home 2 continue to chiong iptnet until minqi called
discussed how 2 finish the iptnet drawing n setting
i noe they r very anxious
but i remained clam n tell them how i do
i myself also very tired n anxious abt the assignment
iptnet is my worse subject ....i can nv get gd results
after tt it was decided tt i shall nt continue 2 do the drawing
i felt so angry with myself
i noe tt my working style is slow la but i m trying to do away tis working style
i dun even noe whos right whos wrong le after all these
i spent 4 days trying 2 figure out how 2 solve then in the end hav 2 giv up
its like i wasted 4 days for nth
n i could hav just done my ooad proj
which i will be able 2 giv minqi so tt i can present with them on mon
haizzzzz......
after they hung up the call, i felt like i was being thrown onto an isolated island again
the lonely feeling from back then in sec sch came back tt instance
opened all the proj files in my laptop with hope tt i can do some changes but in the end i gt no mood n end up gaming for 2 whole hrs n then went to sleep


woke up early tis morning n went 2 changi hospital n had an accupunture session
it lasted for half an hr n after tt went 2 hav lunch n visit my great grand mother in the ward
then went 2 eastpoint 2 buy some stuffs b4 coming home
after shopping i feel quite ok le so i continue with my proj amendments until now then blog for a bit since a lot of ppl(actually only chris is complaining la) tt my blog is still dead
seriously speaking... i really hav no mood at all
from my msn pm, i m actually still feeling quite emo
i guess now they r having co prac or should be over le
gg to sleep now.... it felt tt i m nt having the rest i should be taking
i hope i will be alright


i m so disappointed by so many things
to the extend tt i dun feel like i hav any goals any more
will a long term break be gd for me???
i really wonder??